I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
