So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
