I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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