We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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