Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
