Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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