Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
