Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
