Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
