ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
