I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You ate ashes out of my bong
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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