Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
