he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
