I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
