I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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