You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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