turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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