so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
