idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
