Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
