Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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