what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
