Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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