My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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