I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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