you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
