Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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