yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So apparently I’m into choking now
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