I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
