I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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