just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
