You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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