Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
