That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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