No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
