Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
