thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
