sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
