I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
