How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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