I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
