you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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