real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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