fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
