i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
