Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
