2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
