He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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