so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
