So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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