i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
